Make sure that you read our piece on “The Ego Monster” inside of us all to get the most out of these practical tips below. Don’t stress out if you don’t master them right away! It’s not easy. Training ourselves to manage these challenging situations better, developing our EQ is a lifetime’s work. Be patient and enjoy the ride.
I know, we mention this a lot. We don’t do it enough. It’s a powerful remedy. The benefits are huge and far-reaching. Breathing gets more oxygen to the brain and gives us a greater sense of time and space.
2. Slow down.
When our emotions take over, our tempo tends to pick up. It’s harder to maintain control at the wheel. Remember, you’re always at the wheel.
3. Listen to and understand your Ego Monster.
Don’t hate or judge. Remember, it’s part of you. It’s part of what makes us human. Being in “Adult” state doesn’t mean that you stop feeling altogether. That would be odd. It just means that you’re not hijacked by your emotions which then drive your behaviour. This is dangerous a little like drunk driving. Stay sober at the wheel!
4. Detach from it.
You’re the boss. CEO of you. Though it may not feel like it, you’re always in control. Take a look at Dam Hass’s words at the bottom of this piece. I find them particularly insightful. “It wants control and is sustained by power because it lives in fear.”
5. Try to understand their Ego Monster.
It might not be all that different from your own.
6. Mediate between the two.
It’s almost like an outer body experience as you referee.
7. Find a solution that genuinely suits you both.
Keeping an eye on this at all times will make it easier not to get consumed with the short term greed of your ego.
Remember, every conflict situation presents an opportunity to practise, learn, grow and strengthen “The Best You.”
Good luck. We’d love to hear back about your experiences so get in contact.